A Christmas gift that isn’t scented
Under the tree this year: her own ship.
Her photo, painted as the captain of a ship in winter light, wrapped and waiting under the tree. Free preview before you spend a cent.
Preview her portrait — free Free preview · no payment before you decide
- 23,000+ portraits ordered
- 4.6 / 5 on Trustpilot (427 reviews)
- Free preview before you pay
950+ pirate portraits ordered in the last 90 days
The December scramble
Candle set. Bath set. Jewellery you weren’t sure about. Repeat.
Every December you circle the same three aisles, buy the nicer version of something she already owns, and watch her say thank you in the voice she uses for things she likes but won’t remember.
This year she opens a canvas of herself as a ship’s captain — coat, helm, weather behind her — and the room goes quiet. It’s hung by Boxing Day and mentioned by every visitor after that.


How it works
One photo. No posing, no spoilers.
Take a photo you already have — she never knows until she unwraps it.
- Pick her photoAny clear shot of her face — the one you like from last summer works.
- Preview the artwork freeSee her as a captain or corsair in minutes, before paying anything.
- Print it or send itGallery canvas for the wall, or instant digital if it’s tomorrow. Revisions included.
Real 90-day bestsellers
Pick her pirate alter ego
Current examples from our pirate catalog — each card is a real catalog style. Her version is painted from the photo you upload.
Why the pirate one lands
Most gifts tell her she’s lovely. This one tells her she’s in charge
The default gift language for women is soft: scented, delicate, restful. Some of it she likes. None of it says what you actually think of her, which is that she is the most formidable person in the house.
A captain portrait says it in one image — and if you’d rather both be on the deck, the pirate couple style is the most-ordered version of this theme.
Compared to what?
Where the safe-gift money goes
| Candles and bath sets | $30–$90 | consumed and forgotten |
|---|---|---|
| Jewellery she didn’t choose | $100–$500 | worn twice, if you guessed right |
| Commissioned portrait painter | $400–$900, weeks | you commit before seeing anything |
| A PortraitGift portrait | Preview free, in minutes | you see her in it before paying |
Alternative costs are typical market ranges, for orientation only. Our current prices and formats are always shown live on the product page.
Free preview · no payment first
See her at the helm before you spend a cent
Upload her photo now — if the preview doesn’t make you grin, close the tab and you’ve lost nothing.
Before you ask
Honest answers
Will it be ready for Christmas?
The digital version is available right after checkout, so Christmas morning is always covered. For canvas, check the live delivery estimate at checkout and order early in December.
Can I keep it a surprise?
Yes — that’s the standard play. Use any photo you already have; she never poses and never knows until the unwrap.
Which photo of her works best?
A clear, front-facing photo in decent light. Cropping her out of a group shot is fine.
Is the preview actually free?
Yes. The artwork is generated from her photo and you see it before paying anything — no card required to preview.
Should it be her alone or the two of you?
Both work. A solo captain portrait makes the bigger statement about her; the pirate couple style is the most-ordered version of this theme. Preview both free.
What if the likeness is off?
Request changes — revised versions typically arrive within 24 business hours, and you only pay when you’re happy.
Her big present, sorted with one photo
Preview it free now — digital is instant if you’re cutting it close.
Preview her portrait — free